My heart is forever changed.

I'm sure most of us have compassion for 3rd world countries.  We see the videos of children with no clothes,  shoes, food, water- you name it- they probably don't have it.  I've donated here or there, but was pretty happy with my comfy cozy life.  Sometimes I even consider life tough (still do), but I don't even know the meaning of tough.  I've never had to wear the same clothes 2 days in a row let alone months.  I've never been more that a few hours from a tummy rumbling.  I've never had to walk miles for dirty contaminated water- I sometimes even scoff that all I have to drink in the house is water.  Clean, good for your body water.

11/11/11 will be marked as a day that changed my life.  Children of the World (COTW) choir sang at our church (Chilhowee Hills Baptist) and Vernon Brewer spoke.  What really did me in was the documentary they showed.  Like I said before, I've seen dozens of these that offer a few "aw, so sad" or even a flip of the channel.  This was different.  I don't know if I'm older, at a different place in my walk with God or because I have a daughter.  Whatever it was, this MESSED ME UP! (In a good way). 

This is THE video-click here to see BABY RESCUE

We had the privilege of hosting 2 of the COTW girls, Stephanie, 11 from Philippines & Urmila, 10 from Nepal.  We had them from Friday around 5:30 until this morning at 8 am.  They had a lot of rehearsal, so we didn't have a lot of down time, but the moments we did will be cherished.  :)

If you know me well, you know I'm obsessed with hearing where people came from.  Different events that have shaped who they are (good and bad).  I ask a million questions.  However, the one thing we couldn't talk about with the children was the one thing I desperately wanted to know.  Their past.  What was their country like?  Who did they leave behind?  What did their house look like?  What was their daily events, schedule, customs?  The leaders didn't want us asking simply because these children did not had happy, sweet childhood memories.  They are all orphans or disadvantaged children (extreme poverty).  Boy, you could never tell it.  They laugh and play, sing and dance- they know all about Selena Gomez and her boyfriend Justin Bieber.  They love painting nails and eating hotdogs (and rice).  Even now I can't hold back tears picturing what these sweet children will return home to.  

This is Urmila being silly.  She LOVED being on camera, even though she got shy once she knew it was on her.  Then she wanted to watch herself (who doesn't, right) ;) 




Stephen and I were both hit pretty hard by the message we heard.  We've already made some changes regarding Christmas and gifts, ect.  I think it's time to take it up a notch.  We can't be half way followers of Christ.  He said to give everything, so why am I holding back.  I give only til it gets snug- not til it hurts.  Well, I can tell you my heart is hurting.  I can't sit here and do nothing.

Maybe that is what caught my attention about the video we watched, I had met children from the extreme poverty that this organization helps.  I have seen first hand the joy of following God's commands (to care for the widows, orphans, poor and needy).  It is the most beautiful heartbreak I have ever had.  My life has forever been changed.

This has been an emotional day for me.  Crying most of the day, my sweet baby says "Whaaa maa'er mommy?? Whaa maa'er?"  How do you tell an almost 2 y/o about children her same age, older and younger are dying because they don't have the things she will one day take for granted??  You can't (until she's older).  So I simply told her "Mommy's heart hurts honey" - not that she knows, although it was super cute that she gave me a kiss and said "all better".

What's that saying?

You know that saying "Can't see the forest for the trees" - you only notice the BIG stuff (the forest) and miss the SMALL stuff (the trees) or another could be "Can't see the forest in the trees" - you miss the BIG stuff (the forest) because you are focused on the SMALL stuff (the trees).

Nothing to do with the forest---We moved to Knoxville, TN over a year ago from Huntsville, AL- before that we lived in Seymour (a town south of Knoxville).  I miss the breath taking view of the mountains we had there.  Every time we would pop over the main hill- past Kroger, if you've ever been there, you know what I'm talkin about...Whhhhhhhhheeeewww, we were blown away by the panoramic mountainous view, GORGEOUS- oh and the random, ugly golden arches.  Not kidding, probably would have been a page on a calendar if it weren't for those gaudy arches, even now I roll my eyes just thinking about it. Ha.  You get the idea- I LOVE seeing God's handiwork every day.  If I could, I would have a HUGE front porch with rocking chairs facing the mountains, I'd probably  never leave.  Sure, now we live in the "country" so I get to see a tiny bit of scenery driving "in to town" if Stephen is driving & I'm' not doing anything else.  It's one of those "if you blink, you miss it."  Sad day.

Man, I miss those mountains. 

The other day I was driving home "the long way" (we live in the middle of 2 Hwy's so we usually go the short way unless we need something from the other side aka "the long way" - difference being all of about 5 mins).  Anyway, I saw a sweet little mountain range, peaking over the trees, in the direction of our house.  Hmmm, weird- never noticed that before.  I made a point to watch as I continued driving, but got distracted & completely forgot about it.  Until today.  Wednesday.  Baby bookworm day @ the Carter library.  Pulling out I saw this...

Seriously?!  How long has that been there!  Clearly I know it wasn't added last night while we were sleeping, but why had it taken me 14 months & 25 days to notice it??  I knew we had a few hills around us, but a mountain? Come on!  That's Amazing.  "Can't see the mountain in the hills"?  Ha ha. It's not huge, but it makes me smile- even with houses, buildings and the undeveloped lots.  I'm pretending it's just for me.  By far, best thing about Mascot. :)  I'm smiling now looking at the pic, not sure if it's b/c there is a mountain by our house, or because I feel silly just noticing it. Ha either way, I'll take it! :)

Back to the forest--You ever feel like that with life?  You've got some much going on, problems all around (or maybe just one).  You're thinking, "God, please get me out of here"- and He will, in His timing.  All you see is frustration, unsolved issues, ends not meeting, time not cooperating (a whole day gone, and nothing finished??? been there!).  Then, out of the cloudiness all around you comes light, clarity and peace. Ahhh, a breath of air.  And what's this?  A new perspective, new attitude, gained wisdom, and probably some patience taught?  You see the problems, God sees the work in your heart.  He is slowly completing HIS masterpiece.  Virtues added in the mist of a crisis (sometimes simply called life).  Problems will come back my friend, people will disappoint you-again, sickness comes and goes, money may or may not fade away- all those are disposable anyway.  Those little nuggets of "love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control**,"  will NEVER return void and will carry you through next issues.    I like to say here "Can't see the masterpiece in the paint" He's not through with you friend, don't give up, give it to Jesus. 

**Galatians 5:22-23   

fall, bedtime & God's love.

Here it is...my FAVORITE season.  MMM I love hoodies, boots, fall smells & tastes, playing outside after dinner and cuddling under blankets with hot chocolate!  Yes, I'm excited for Fall!


Another favorite...bedtime with Brynnen!

Stephen and I have started putting Brynnen to bed together, one of us rocks her, the other prays, each night we switch.  Recently I have been holding/rocking Brynn as long as possible each night.  I close my eyes and breathe deep, a smile creeps across my face as I am reminded this is the only time I get to hold her like this.  Sure she will come say "I hold you" (meaning she wants me to hold her) or climb on my lap while we relax after dinner- but that lasts about 30 seconds then something else has her attention.  So back to the rocking chair, cuddling with my baby girl reminds me what a sweet blessing she is.  I love everything about her, her beautiful eyes, her silly grin, the way she laughs & says "sill-wee dad-dee" when they play together.  Ohhhh, I could squeeze her and never want to let her go.  God gave us the sweetest angel ever.  (I don't mean angel as if she never gets in trouble, but like created heavenly being).  I've never encountered an angel that I know of, but I tell you what, that little girl has to be pretty close!  

Her sin nature shows often, her newest being "NO! MINE-T" (yes she says mine with a "t" on the end).  Where did she even learn that??  There are times when she doesn't get her way she'll throw herself on the floor, or pout- but even the worst days of continual whining, disobeying and getting into things, is completely washed away when I cuddle her before bed and I can't wait to spend tomorrow with her.  I can't even explain it.  How can I have so much love in my heart for something so small!  As we sit there I'm reminded of Christ's love for us.  I love that I can demonstrate His love to her by being patient, teaching her right things, and even singing praise with her.  (Her "Jesus loves me" is "gee-sus, gee-sus gee-sus" it makes me smile, especially when she follows that with "elmo worrrd").  SO grateful for this "little crazy" God has blessed us with.

If I feel this way about 1 child, think how big God's heart has to be to contain all the love He has for us!  Think how even the "worst of the worst" offenders (myself included) can be completely washed clean, daily!  He loves us SO much, He gave us the ability to love, so imagine how much more He loves us.  Wow.   Humbling.  Freeing.  Amazing.

This is what I asked for...

Yesterday we started the SAHM's (Stay-at-home-mom) bible study.  Every one I have ever attended (this being my 2nd) has been a Beth Moore study.  This one on David.  I really like David, I feel like if a world-class screw up (pardon the rough language) like him can be called "a man after God's own heart" - well then there's hope for us.  I feel like God put him in that particular position to show "your heart doesn't have to be  perfect, you just have to bring all of it" for God to use you.  That's a direct quote form B-Moore herself.  Another good one is "there is a country mile difference between appeasing God and pleasing God."  Wooo, isn't that the truth. We also talked about things we ask for, and may or may not like the outcome (even though we asked for it).

I have been praying for sometime to be used in the lives of others.  I love people, as if you didn't know.  LOVE people, their hearts, what they think, where they have been and most importantly where they are going (with God's guidance).  God sure answered prayers, one of them in a way I could never have guessed.  I asked for Him to allow me to cross paths with a young person I can influence, in a positive way.  Well He gave me 13 of 'em! 



I am a middle school volleyball coach.  Ha.  Yes it's true, I'm not even kidding.  It's a lot of work, but I like it, I'm actually starting to like the girls too!  Ha ha, seriously, kidding!  These girls are between the 5th & 8th grade.  Yes they are loud, and talk way too much, goof off and get attitudes, but it's so fun to sit back and watch them interact.  To see them help, encourage and love each other.  I love the excitement they get when they do something well.  The intensity when they are trying to focus and work hard.  It's sweet how much they adore Brynnen and treat her like a sweet baby sister, well maybe a niece -nicer than siblings would be :)  I have to remind myself what 8th grade was like...oh, we were super cool, sitting at the back of the bus.  We giggled and shared lip gloss, didn't have a care in the world, besides what we were wearing tomorrow and what cute boy passed us a note during class.  Times have changed so much since I was in the 8th grade.  It breaks my heart realizing some of the things middle schoolers have to deal with.  So much divorce, death, sickness, and pressure in this God-less world.  A lot of people say "oh to be young again" I think I'd like to keep my 28 years thanks!

I didn't realize at first why I said yes to this job, I still can't even tell you how it came about.  I do know, I now have 13 extra blessings that I am SO thankful for, 14 if you include sweet Kayli that comes to watch Brynnen during practice. :)   I was expecting college age, but I am grateful God answered prayers in the only way He can...absolutely perfect! 

(A picture to come!) 

Kids now-a-days, I tell ya....

Anytime I take Brynnen to the grocery story there are always several people that say "Hi" or interact with her.  Occasionally she will yell "Hi" or "Hi Freeeennn!" (hi friend) until the person, who has no clue this random toddler is saying hi and not throwing a fit, notices her.  The other day was no different.  I was unloading my groceries on the belt when this man got in line behind us and started talking to Brynnen.  After the groceries were out of the cart, I joined the "conversation", he said something to her that required a thank you- all I had to do (in my serious mommy voice) was say "Brrryynnnen"  she responded "Tain-too" (thank you).  That lead to a conversation about manners, and how disrespectful and self centered most children are now-a-days.  What happened??  We went from "yes sir/yes ma'am" to "ugh, whatever!" in a matter of 2 generations.  I wish I could blame it completely on these kids, but then I see grown men and women with the poor, self serving attitudes and I'm reminded of the sad culture we have created.  We allow children to be rude/disrespectful, not only to their parents and elders, but even friends or people they don't know.  Then we have the sweet, respectable parents, with terrible children, I'm not talking about toddlers, I'm talking 6 up through teenagers that have ZERO manners.   So I ask again WHAT HAPPENED??

One explanation: God has been taken out of everything except the church (and even in some cases, that's debatable!!).  We are sinners by nature, only by reflecting God's perfection can we even begin to show love and respect to one another, including strangers.  I also blame the media.  The media portrays the elderly as a burden (Talladega Nights scene comes to mind) , parents as idiots that let kids do and have whatever they want (again Talladega Nights, Housewives of Orange County, I could go on and on).   We allow it.  TURN IT OFF, change the channel, monitor what your children watch, this is what is influencing our future leaders!

Even magazines are teaching parents to "just go with it".  I had (key word HAD) subscribed to Family Circle, what I thought was a Christian magazine (I am almost positive we got it when I was younger...).  Anyway, the first issue I read had an article on throwing a tween/teen birthday party "that's safe, fun and controlled-while winning some serious parent points", first sign this would be a terrible article.  PS Parents, you are the adult, you shouldn't be "earning points" from your children.  I'm not saying there is anything wrong with doing nice things for them, but this is how society has changed roles.  Instead of kids trying to "earn points" for rewards such as eating out, family vacation, or choice of movie, we now have parents trying so hard to please their children.  (Serious eye rolling here).  The article continues instructions to allow the kids to dj, and I quote "Okay, so you may have to listen to Lady Gaga and Kanye West over and over.  Even if some lyrics seem offensive, there are more important things to worry about.." Are you kidding me??  Let's try that again, ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!!  Why are your children even allowed to listen to that trash??  (Do you lead by example here parents?????)

I can't even move past this, because I am so appalled that an editor would even allow this ridiculousness in the magazine.  "Even if some lyrics are offensive"- Really?? What kind of parent allows their very mold-able child(ren) to listen to offensive lyrics.  More parents just think "it's a phase" or don't want to hear the whining/screaming/slamming or whatever else kids these days do when parents make tough decisions the kid doesn't like.  Well you are right, it could be a phase, but aren't you glad I don't let my toddler run around hitting, scratching and biting- hoping "it's just a phase"???

The bible says "Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it" (Proverbs 22:6).  Train a child, and when he is old, are the 2 phrases that stick out- it doesn't give specific ages.  I am 28 years old and my parents call me their child (well more often refer to the 3 kids of us as "children").  That doesn't mean my parents still tell me what to do, although, I do seek advice sometimes, but it does mean until that child is out of your house, no matter the age YOU are responsible for their training, aka attitude, aka behavior.  It doesn't say "train up until 10, then let them figure it out"....in phases, of course. (yes you can giggle here, I did) :)

 I am by no means a perfect parent, uh, hello, have you been around her recently??-haha .  Seriously tho, I don't have a teenager, I realize this, but it has to start young.  You don't play pee-wee football, skip jr high, high school & college to be drafted.  I pray daily for Brynnen's heart as she grows.  I pray for grace and wisdom for Stephen and I as we lead her.  I know what I expect and I am willing to work hard to train her in the way she should go.  She is learning, I mean she's only been here for 18 months, we'll give her a few more ;) (wink)  Oh, and I can't take all the credit, her daddy is a ESSENTIAL part of the process. 

I could go on and on, but I'll end with this:  Let's put God back in the center of our family.  If you have made mistakes in the past, own up to them- tell your child(ren) there is going to be a new way of doing things (God's way), and be consistent.  It will be hard, especially at first, you'll want to give in to hush them up, but don't.  Pray for wisdom, for you and the kids, pray for hearts that are cultivated, and for discernment.  We are raising the future, and then they have the responsibility to raise their future, wouldn't it be helpful if the first group were "trained" the right way??


If you are a "child" reading this, and you aren't acting right- STOP.  It's not cool, or hip or even epic, it's foolishness and a slap in the face of your creator.  I have been there, you're parents have been there (maybe), become everything we weren't, you won't regret it.

Send me and e-mail or text, we would LOVE to walk this journey with you.  :)

She's a keeper!

Not exactly what I had in mind....

 Well my Martha Stewart days are temporarily delayed.  My sewing machine (which is actually my mother's) isn't cooperating- so we'll be doing some "No Sew" projects to get my feet wet (until I have someone show me how to use this!).  I admire Martha Stewart simply because she is very crafty in the garden, home decor and in the kitchen. Or Vera Wang- she's got some great lines too, but she doesn't cook- either way, you get the idea.

I have a lot of friends who have "crafty" blogs, so I figured it can't be that difficult and apparently it saves money and is really fun.  I looked over a few different blogs that had step-by-step instructions (aka sewing for dummies, woot woot- right up my alley), and decided "I am going to do this!"  I got out the sewing machine super excited to spend my afternoon creating all types of glamorous things for Brynnen & our home.    My first venture was going to be making a woven head band.  Simple- sew, braid, sew - viola!  Would have been great...if I could work the sewing machine annnndddd if I had really read the directions and realized I needed strips long enough to fit Brynn's head AFTER they were woven together.  Aw Man!  Well, lucky for me, I could use fabric glue (which I randomly had) instead of sewing, and the strips fit perfectly as a bracelet. Ha! Not exactly what I had in mind, but not a complete waste!!  And Stephen liked it, but wanted a thinner one.  SCORE!  Not exactly what I had in mind....but workable! :)

Something else that wasn't exactly what I had in mind, was this 4th of July weekend.  We had been looking to go to Stephen's brother's house (Septtro & Susan)- they had a disaster last month that kept them out of their home for over 40 days! Susan is having a little girl sometime this month, and Stephen has Monday off, so we were going to go help them get reorganized and hang out for the weekend.  Not to mention possibly pick up a bed for Brynnen & her stroller.  For some reason some we came up short on our budget, and didn't feel it would be wise to go down for the weekend.  So sadly let them know we couldn't come, and planned a quiet weekend here (getting A LOT nothing done).  We now know God was protecting their house.  We had an outbreak of HFMD (Hand-Foot-Mouth-Disease) in the nursery at church, didn't think a thing about it since Brynnen didn't go to church Sunday night (where she would have been in a different room, the one that seemed to be infected) & she didn't have any symptoms (sores on her hands, feet & mouth).  She did have a mild fever & weird red bumps on her booty Thursday night, but was fine Friday.  HFMD didn't cross my mind.  However, Saturday morning she had 3 little blisters on the thumb she sucks & another blister on her other thumb.  Oh no, she has it!!  EEEKKKK!  AHHH, "don't touch mommy", ahhhh who can I text/call for help??  Sanitize the her room, toys and house!  Call the doctor?  Take her to the doctor?  Do I have it??  Should I put bandaids over the sores so they don't spread?  Yes, lets start there.  Then text a few friends for help! 

Low and behold, though this virus is annoying & icky, it's pretty harmless- but EXTREMELY contagious (especially children under 10).  Praise God we didn't go to South Carolina!  What a hassle that would have been, not only could Brynnen have infected Rilynn (& possibly other babies) but if Susan were to get it, not only would be miserable- but dangerous if the baby was born while she had it!  Oh what a headache we were saved!!!  Thank you Lord for little "inconveniences" that work out perfect in the end. 

Oh, aaannndddd.....we were suppose to be around several other kids this week, play dates, dinner plans, the gym, that for one reason or another each of those got canceled!  So Brynnen, who could have infected several other kids without knowing it, was kept contained :)  Praise God in the small things, even if they are unpleasant!!  :)  :)

Just what I need....

my crazie!!

I just had the BEST cuddle time with Brynnen.  She's starting to be a big girl, and not wanting to cuddle, ever.  She is a mover and a shaker (by shaker I mean girl with feisty lil attitude- haha).  She is learning SO much, I know that I have repeated that several times, and I'm sure seasoned moms are rolling their eyes over how much I dote on this crazy girl that is my life.  God has definitely blessed her with some smarts, funnies and crazy genes!  However, those mean nothing if her heart isn't for Him, that is my daily prayer for her- that she will grow up and do some SPECTACULAR things for Christ!  OK, back to cuddles... Our night routine with Brynnen includes picking up toys, milk, saying "night night" to mommy/daddy (whomever isn't putting her down), rocking for a bit, then bed.  Recently as we settle down to rock her, she will rock for a couple minutes and then point to her bed and say "Beh beh", (oh you want your bed?? SURE!)  Go down easy & save us some time, YES PLEASE, so we put her in bed.  The last couple nights Stephen has been the one to put Brynnen to bed, after he put her down, as he was closing the door she leaned her head up and said "nigghh nigghh". MELT. MY. HEART.  I couldn't believe it.  That was the past 2 nights, so tonight I got to put her down.  As we were rocking she leaned up and gave me a kiss, threw her arms around my shoulders and gave me a SQUEEZE. Several times.  Man, if that isn't the best feeling in the world, I don't know what is.  I LOVE Brynnen hugs!  Then she looked at me again, and repeated the whole thing- with EXTRA squeezy's this time.  Oh, wow, nothing could make my day more.  So after a few more kisses, and a little game of "point to mommy's face" (which she just made up tonight- she pointed to a part of my face and waited for me to tell her what it was).  I didn't want her getting too worked up, so I squeezed her and said it was time for bed.  As I was walking out, I said "night night", very excited to finally experience her sweet wishes myself- well how surprised was I when she said "wouve ouu........nigghh nigh".  WHAT?! REALLY?! *HUGE GRIN* Needless to say, I'm on cloud 9, lovin with my sweet (smart) baby girl.  Yes, the same lil booger that gets into everything, drives me crazy, and is so needy all day long.  Ha, that's why God made them so cute, so we'd forget all that silly stuff.  ;)

I know it's been a long time- Please forgive me.  Although, one excuse I had (my laptop was broken)- is now gone.  A friend of ours from church fixed it, including the ghetto broken side!   YAY! :)

Sweet Babies...

Mother's Day weekend we went to South Carolina for Papa Suli's birthday.  

HAPPY BIRTHDAY PAPA!!  (May 7th)

We stayed at Septtro & Susan's (Stephen's oldest brother & his wife).  They have a daughter, Rilynn, who is a little more than 4 months older than Brynnen.  The girls are now to the age where they can kind of play together...or fight over toys. (haha)  I'd have to admit they did very well with sharing & had a lot of fun playing "together" (playing with different objects but in the same room & paying attention to each other).   

watching cartoons together!

It was cute how if one of the girls did something, the other wanted to too- if Rilynn got her sippy, Brynnen wanted her's too. If Brynnen got in her chair to eat, Rilynn wanted up too (although Ri wasn't feeling well, so she didn't eat much- but she was great company for Brynnen). 

Even bath time! (Notice they each have a pink toy- haha)

 We seem to have started a tradition of doing a photo shoot with the girls in their Samoan dresses as often as possible.  Last time was at Rilynn's first birthday - here's a couple shots from then - September 25, 2010

Let's just say this time the weather was nicer and our models, ahem Brynnen, didn't eat the props- aka rocks & grass.

haha this one is my favorite  =)

I loved watching the girls play and interact.  They have completely different personalities- Rilynn is a little more reserved and keeps where she knows she's safe, where as Brynnen is  more outgoing and fearless.  The mommy side wishes Brynn were a little more like Ri when it comes to climbing and overcoming obstacles that can possibly hurt her-- but I will never tell her that!  I want her to try new things and explore- be herself, not who I or anyone else wants her to be.  Even if, to my dismay, she becomes a tomboy and never wears cute hair bows and dresses -- I mean, really- what did I expect?? I was the same way growing up (probably much to my mother's dismay). 

I am so excited to see where God leads these sweet babies (and their parents) as life continues.  So thankful for healthy bodies and sweet smiles =)

PS  I wish we lived close to all of our family, but for now, pictures and occasional visits will be savored.   

Do rain drops = blessings?

The first time I heard this song it instantly became a favorite-- even through the tears.  I still can't listen to it without tearing up, and thanking God for his mercies - and sleepless nights.

"What if your blessings come through rain drops?  What if your healing comes through tears? And, what if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know YOU're near?  What if my greatest disappointments or the aching of this life, is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can't satisfy? What if trials of this life, the rain, the storms, the hardest night- are your mercies in disguise?"


Man, I can't even write this, I'm just in awe of God's words through this woman.  I've heard it so many times, and each time it hits me just the same.  We do pray for blessings, and peace, and joy, and wisdom, etc etc.  
We each have our own ideas of what a "blessing" is.  So as I heard blessings coming through rain drops, I didn't quite understand- probably also doesn't help that I love rain & rain boots (not the proverbial kind of course).  =)

Anyway- As I was thinking about blessings and sleepless nights, and God hearing our prayers, it hit me.  We want blessings to be tangible.  Something we can physically hold, touch, feel- wrap around us in the storm and that's not always the case.  That can be frustrating.  I think once you go through so much rain, you can learn to have JOY in it - go dance around, get your hair wet!  Once you go through loss, (job, house, entire city) you may learn LOVE (and priorities), you (or a loved one) may be diagnosed with disease after the tears (and prayer) you realize who is in control and you eventually have PEACE, I could go on--- but do you see the "blessings"? (I put them in bold for you...just in case). =)

Galatians 5:22 lists the fruit of the spirit. "Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control."  These are blessings.  They don't just come to you-- even though we may pray for them, often times our greatest lesson/gain is through experience.

The song writer/singer Laura Story said this song really represents how God gives us what we need, not what we want.  I hate that sometimes, because I feel like I know what I want need.  However, I'm pretty sure our creator God has more of an idea what that is.  Ha, kind of like a child who "needs" cookies for dinner instead of a nourishing meal, errr, uh, maybe that was just me yesterday when I was little.  ;)

The other verse this reminds me of is Romans 5:3-5 "...but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance, perseverance, character and character, hope.  And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit who he has given us."  So these dark nights/rainy days/storms produce perseverance, which builds up our character which leads to hope-- and if you have hope, you will not be disappointed (by God-- most certainly by man, and/or woman, but never by God).   So if you aren't sure why you are "going through" something, or you have a tragedy in your book-- look for what God is trying to teach or show you.  Simply ask Him.  

It will probably take more than one "rain storm" to get you out dancing in your blessings!!  Believe me often times I still whine and be grudgingly put on my rain boots, but once it's over and the rainbow appears...I end up thankful that I witnessed God at work and will reap the "blessings".  =)

He's with Jesus...

This isn't a normal post- it's mainly for me to reflect and remember--

About 2 weeks ago we had an elderly friend of ours admitted to the hospital with abdominal pain-- long story short, several CT scans were done, emergency surgery, etc- and he was on the mend (considering all his body went through).  Last night he died.

Yes, what a shock to me too.  Sometime we take life, and God's miracles/healing for granted.  It never even crossed my mind that he would not be coming home.  I was looking forward to taking them (him & his sweet wife) dinner and letting Brynnen play and laugh with them.  You see, this couple loved Brynnen before she was born.  When we joined Chilhowee Hills Baptist Church, I was pregnant, so of course we had to check out the nursery.  We went by one night with some friends who were picking up their son, that's when we first met the legend that is "Mrs. Frances".  She was so sweet, had us register "baby" (at the time we didn't have a name picked out), every time she saw me she asked me how I was doing.  When Brynnen was born, the first card she ever received was from The Ellison's (Mrs. Frances & her husband).
  As you probably know, Brynnen loves knowing what's going on, doesn't want to miss a thing, and has to be in all the action.  She wouldn't sleep in the nursery, are you kidding, there are too many people to see!!  Mrs. Frances sensed my distraught, and that week when I came to pick up Brynnen, she was sleeping. GASP- really?? Wow.  She has what she calls "the sleeper hold"- and can put any, ANY baby to sleep.  Amazing.

 As we would leave the nursery we would always see this nice man sitting at the end of the hallway.  He was so sweet.  I don't even know how, but I then learned that was Mr Frances (Mrs. Frances' husband) totally made sense, he would sit at the end of the hall, and wait for her to do her nursery "duty", no matter how long it took.  We would say hi, and he would always want to see Brynnen, and as she got older he would talk to her, wave at her, make her laugh.   Our friendship grew.  Mainly between Mrs. Frances and I (so the husband's were in by default), she would call when she knew Brynnen was sick- I would call for this or that, they were great family friends.  Mr. Keith was pretty quiet, but I can't help but smile when I think about his interactions with Brynnen.  He loved that little girl (as I'm sure he does a lot of kids at the church).  Stephen told me last night that Mr. Keith was the first person he saw/met at CHBC- asked him to come to the front to pray before the service.  What a bold thing to do, he didn't know Stephen from the next guy, but he did know Jesus.  He did know prayer. 

I'm so thankful Mr. Keith was the kind of man that his life showed where he would go when he passed.  I didn't have to ask if he was a christian, he lived it (so does Mrs Frances).  So why am I sad he is gone?  I know he is with Jesus, a place I long to be-- but never again will I see his sweet face as we leave the nursery- never again will Brynnen be able to lift her shirt and show him her belly, or blow kisses to him.  Then I think about strong Mrs. Frances, how she will never get to kiss him good morning, or sleep beside him at night.  My heart aches for her.  Makes me really cherish the time I have with my own husband and daughter (among others).  If nothing else, death teaches us something- it is inevitable, we don't know when we will take our last breath.  So, maybe we should start focusing on what really matters.  Living a life that pleases God, imitate Jesus with righteousness and obedience.


We love you Keith Ellison, and we'll see you one day soon!!
 

ps a little disappointed I lost Brynnen's birthday pics in our computer crash, so I don't have a picture to put up of her with them.

Do you have something PERSONAL??

This is one of my favorite mugs, a gift from my brother & sister-in-law before our wedding (Stephen has one that says "Mr. Right" with his name- very cute).  Anyway, you can easily see why it would be a favorite- I mean, it tells me I'm Always right, holds my energy for life (coffee), and reminds me of the day I became a Sene.  Well, that's not all of why I love this broken-handled-making-it-extremely-hot-to-hold mug-- it's mainly because it says my name.  Kari.  4 letters that probably mean nothing to most other people, but to me,  it represents me.  It holds a lot really, my ups & downs- greatest achievements and deepest failures- it makes some people smile, others just out right laugh :) it means friend, secret keeper, bargain hunter extraordinaire, super fun playmate, and the best hug-giver ever!  Wow, all that from 4 letters?  Oh no, there's more---I'm just humble ;) (wink) Not very many people would be willing to buy this mug even at a yard sale because it has MY name on it.  Branding it.  Making it appealing only to those who know a "Kari" or may be so lucky to be named "Kari" ;)

We all love personalized objects don't we?  Before Stephen and I were married, I went to Las Vegas for my brothers wedding, guess what I brought back-- that's right, a tin of mints with "Stephen" on the front- (and another that said "Gangsta"- but that's another story...)  Personalization makes an ordinary object very special- it is created, printed, and purchased specifically with me (or you or whom ever) in mind.  There is one thing so personalized that will give your life meaning, fulfillment, purpose, happiness, it will be with you through the ups, downs, everything and most importantly- it will save your life.

Jesus Christ purchased YOU for a very high price, HIS LIFE.  You can be free in Him- to have LIFE EVERLASTING!  He comes right to you, on your level, has YOUR name on the palm of his hand (Isaiah 49:16).   No other relationship can offer you that (yes relationship- Christianity is not a religion, but a relationship).   He will never let you down, He will never leave you, He will be right on time, every time.  It is your choice.  He wants to have a personal relationship with _________ (insert your name).  See, if this were his blog, your name would have been filled in- I can't do that, I can't make this blog personal, I'm human (one of my many flaws).
 
I can guarantee, if you ask Him to have a personalized relationship with you- He will, and you will be changed...it'll rock your socks off!  =)

ps- coffee is not necessarily my "energy for life"- I do like it...a lot, but I'd be in big trouble if that truly were my "energy for life" - thanks for understanding my fun side ;-)

how we do...

how i do things...

 how Brynnen does things...

If you know me well, you know I don't really like things messy, or cluttery-- And you know (from previous posts), I'm slowly being forced learning to let little stuff go and focus on what's important, sharing life (messy or not) with some pretty awesome people.=)  So, don't be surprised next time you come to our house if Brynnen has "done things" for me- and I leave it just how she has it is!!  ;-)

One Sentence...

 Nine words with a question mark.  Simple right?  Right!  Unless it’s a message for you from God…then it’s probably more like a slap in the face!!  

Last Sunday morning, our Pastor (Mark) asked “Are you serving God, or are you serving you?”  Yes, those nine little words (and the question mark) were about to rock my world.   

“Am I serving God, or am I serving me?”  Huh? What? Serving me? Ha, yeah right, with all I do?  I clean, cook, change diapers, find bargains, work in the nursery, volunteer as much as possible, etc- of course I wasn’t serving me...right? RIGHT??

Instantly blurps from the last 13 months of my life played right in front of my eyes.   Statements I’d previously said replayed in my head- things like “this isn’t what I had planned”, and “I don’t really like to clean up after everybody EVERYDAY”, oh and “I like to GO to work and be busy.” Wait just a second…I am busy, and I have plenty of work that I do (laundry is waiting for me as I type this, I need to clean up our dinner mess, etc) and Brynnen – well if you’ve ever been around a toddler…you know the needs- play, eat, read, make a mess, have a snack, play, eat, more mess- you get the picture.  So I certainly am busy…but I stay home to work and it does not result in something instantly gratifying, no big paycheck for me at the end of the week, no bonus, no paid holidays, rarely even days off. 

That’s what it boiled down to- in this world of immediate satisfaction, I got sucked in.  I was a SAHM (stay at home mom) that wasn’t “helping” her family.  Sure, occasionally I see results of things I teach Brynnen- but that type of “work” doesn’t buy a new outfit or send us on a vacation; it doesn’t pay for a weekly pedicure or those cute shoes I saw last week.  Nope, being a parent is about the farthest thing from instant gratification.  Oh and that paycheck for your labor?- ha, yeah right.  [Maybe that’s why some people let their TV, or school, or “a community” to raise a child, (since that’s what it takes right?? Hilary Clinton? – please note the italics mean sarcasm)]

I was so caught up in what I wasn’t doing (bringing in extra money), that I lost sight of what God called me to do— “raise my child in the way she should go, so when she is old she will not turn from it”  Proverbs 22:6 (I traded he for she for application). I am to be the keeper of my house because, again, that is what God called me to do (Titus 2:4-5).  Not only that, but being focused on things I wasn’t doing, robbed me of the joy for what I was doing, providing a safe haven, comfortable, happy home.

Don’t get me wrong, I am thankful for this life God has granted-- but as I learn to let go of MY wants and focus on what God has for me, I get to experience a new joy-- the true purpose for cooking, cleaning, changing diapers and being a super awesome wife ;)  I am to honor my God, our Lord in Savior in everything, EV-VAH-REE-THING that I do.  Besides, all that other stuff…the stuff money can buy—well, it doesn’t come close to the stuff I experience every day, the good stuff that life is really made of!!! Check out Philippians 3. 

Oh, and this also doesn’t mean those thoughts will never creep back into my mind—but when they do, I am ready—“I’m not serving you Kari, I’m serving your creator”