Thursday, August 23, 2012

We've been waiting.....

I have waited for this post.  I would be lying if I said I hadn't thought about the words I would use, how long it would be, would it include pictures?  When would I post it?  Apparently I didn't think too much, because I don't have much to say.  I mean I have A LOT to say, but my mind is blank.

Why aren't the words coming?  I guess because I want it to be perfect.  I mean, you only get to announce a baby once! (did you catch that??)  I have such a deep desire to express God's goodness, grace and mercy, to shout His providence, perfection and love for us.  If you could have seen me the day I found out....I couldn't stop grinning, eyes welling, heart soaring.  I really wanted to tell everyone- especially you all, since you are on this journey too.  I settled for some advice my dad gave me "be like Mary, and ponder it in your heart."

If you haven't concluded yet...I. AM. PREGNANT!!!!!  :)  Apparently a little over 6 weeks, although i think closer to 5--but like Stephen told me - it doesn't matter how far along, we're pregnant- that's the key point here!!

I know you are dying for details, so here you go

Tuesday afternoon (the 14th) I was cuddling Brynnen a little bit before nap.  Out of the blue she said "Mommy I want a brover or sister."  My first response was, "So do we honey" then I said "Let's ask God for a brother or sister."  So we did, love the sweet innocent prayers of children.  :)   God does too ;)

Wednesday, I had just settled in to start bible study (doing Beth Moore, Esther).  Then I remembered I had bought a test to take! Yay!  I took the test.  I stared at the test for about 15 seconds and knew I would go insane, and hurt my eyes if I watched the whole time.  So I decided to glance over the study (or at least sit down) and wait the appropriate 3 minutes.

Finally, as I approached the counter I could only see the guide mark...sigh (probably pretty deep)....but upon further inspection I saw a faint line.......What??? No way!! Oh my word! I wanted to do a happy dance, to jump up and down, SHOUT to our creator- but I had a sleeping baby, so I settled for a small eeekkk, a huge grin and overwhelming joy in my heart.  Not sure if I sat on the bed by choice, or couldn't make it to my desk- either way, I had a sweet conversation with God.  Thanking him over and over, praising Him, and seeking protection- trusting His will.  I could not stop that big cheesy grin, what a beautiful feeling.

Stephen got home and we celebrated.  Super excited for this new season in our life.  Next we had to decide if we would share the good news with everyone, or wait a while.  We came to rest on this: God's plan will play out regardless.  If we share this great news and something happens, it will be disappointing- UMM HELLO- if we don't share and something happens it will still be disappointing.  If we do share, we have the power of pray behind us, and I don't know about you, but, we'll take all the prayer you'll give!!! 

So thankful for another chapter, but like we all's now 9 months of waiting. HA!  I'm going to savor this time, because (Lord willing) when #2 gets here, life will drastically change.  Thankful for your prayers, sweet scripture and thoughtful words.  And VERY thankful for family & friends to go through life and downs, sorrows and joy.

Might be our official diaper-getter  :)

(In case you missed this on facebook.....)  

Yes, she is chanting "USA" at the end...guess she feels we deserve a gold medal for this one   ;)

Sunday, August 19, 2012

A good word...

This is directly from an e-mail devotional Pastor Jerry Hall sends me-  sometimes we as Christians don't want to be labeled "judgmental" or "self righteous" - so we ignore wrong doings.  If  we speak truth in love, we are following our godly calling.  Ephesians 4:15 

Here it is:
“‘If a person sins because he does not speak up when he hears a public charge to testify regarding something he has seen or learned about, he will be held responsible.’”  Leviticus 5:1
 Responsible people speak up when necessary. Sometimes, it is easier to remain silent, but God has not called us to a path of least resistance. We can stay silent but eventually it will come out. It may come out in angry passive-aggressive reactions related to our uncommunicated observations or it may express itself in built-up resentment or bitterness that eats away at our good nature and steals our joy. Suffering in silence is not God’s design. He wants us to speak up under the influence of His Spirit. Even if the words are hard and direct, God’s Spirit can deliver them in a loving manner.

When you speak up, it means you care. We love the person too much to allow them to hurt themselves and others with self-inflicted attitudes and inappropriate actions. This is especially hard for men. Pride and ego keep us from being vulnerable to rejection or relational controversy, but we owe it to God, to others, and ourselves to “speak the truth in love” (Ephesians 4:15). Love compels you to take a relational risk and say something. Be faithful to speak the words, and trust God with the results.
Furthermore, make sure to speak up and defend those who are defenseless. Rise to the defense of widows, orphans, and the poor who are crushed under the weight of the world’s injustice. You may not have to look very far. There may be family members who need your attention. Second, third, and fourth chances are called for to model Christ’s attitude of acceptance. Your reputation may become soiled because you choose to speak up on behalf of a seedy soul, but trust God. We can relate best to sinners because we suffer from the same temptations and sorrows. Christians are sinners saved by the grace of God, no one is beyond God’s reach.
Lastly, speak up for and serve the poor. The poor need a person they can trust. The poor need us to give them a voice against the greedy souls who seek to take advantage of them. They need financial training; they need medical supplies and education; they need nutrition; they need jobs; they need indoor plumbing; they need shoes on their feet and clothes on their backs. Mostly, they need a growing relationship with Jesus Christ. The poor are drawn to Jesus when they see God’s people stand up for them. They are attracted to those who care enough to sit in their homes and drink coffee, create jobs, and speak up on their behalf. It may be building Christian schools so that the poor can receive a quality education in a loving environment. It is time some of us break out of our bubble of affluence and expose ourselves to the sufferings of the poor.
You sin if you remain silent over those who are defenseless. The Bible says, “Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world” (James 1:27).

Taken from August 19th reading in the 365-day devotional book, “Seeking Daily the Heart of God”…

Monday, August 6, 2012

Maybe Next Time...

Here's another hard, emotional, from the heart post.

I feel I (we) have fully processed having a miscarriage (I mean come on it's been over 4 months- click here to catch up), however there are some days harder than others.  Don't think I sit around completely depressed, lingering in the past I don't.  It's actually opposite, I have learned a lot and enjoy what God has blessed us with.  Most days it doesn't even cross my mind, but sometimes it does and it creates so many questions.  Questions I may never have answers to.

The last week or so I haven't felt normal (last time that happened I had a kidney infection & found out I was preggers with Brynnen) needless to say Friday I took a pregnancy test.  Negative.  Ugh, I don't like that word.  Even reading that word makes me cringe.  Negative.  Such a cold reminder of No, Not You, Nothing in There.  Couldn't they change it to "Maybe Next Time," that might not sting as bad.  Why does it even sting? We have complete faith God will provide when HE is ready, or maybe when We are ready- I don't mean physical time frame, I mean HE knows us better than we know ourselves.  He knows what we don't.  Maybe something crazy is going to happen on our Guatemala trip and if we had a child(or I was pregnant) we wouldn't fully be used.  Maybe not.  Maybe later down the road I will look back and see the big picture and say "Ah-ha!"  Maybe not.  Maybe God is creating a desire so great that if I have a "hard" pregnancy it won't even matter.  Maybe not.  Maybe I'm only meant to physically have 1 child.  Maybe not, but maybe....

So Saturday (after the "maybe next time" Friday) Stephen and I were out running errands.  I can't even recall what we were talking about, but I spurted out "It's just so hard sometimes."  Confused he asked what I was talking about, I have a tendency to forget not everyone hears what's in my head....So I shared what I had never shared before. I tried so hard not to cry.  Even now I can't help it.  "The hardest part for me isn't physically losing the baby.  It's reading the test and only seeing 1 line where before I saw 2."  Seeing a negative where there once was a positive.  I was pregnant, now I'm not.  I had child #2 inside, now I don't.  Man, sometimes I look at those tests so hard, I have to just put it in the trash & walk away, "Maybe Next Time."

As soon as I told Stephen all that, God was SO compassionate and flooded my mind with so many things that are perfect in our life for only one child.  A few being: our house, our business, our travel schedule, our college ministry,  exercising, and especially my time.  Yes all of these things will easily adapt to more than one child (many moms do these and more with multiple kids), but all that to say...we are right where we need to be.  He (God) is working on my heart, developing perseverance.  "Perseverance that must finish it's work so I may be mature and complete, not lacking in anything", at least that's what James 1:3-4 tells me :) 

Continued prayer is appreciated.  I'm so glad I will have these to read, or share with others, in the future if I ever need to.  :)

 This song is perfect.  Kari Jobe "You are for Me"

Thursday, August 2, 2012

Mushroom Chix

I told Stephen last night, I feel the most wife/mom/adult like when I cook.  I love using fresh ingredients and simple recipes.  I guess it's the only time I really "control" the day- if that makes sense.  Maybe not control, but predict- in general (and lots of practice) if I cook chicken it will come out how I want, variables are up to me- what else I include with the chicken, how I cook the chicken, side dishes and occasionally dessert- well those are at my disposal.  Everything else in the day is up for grabs...especially with a toddler.  A very active, unpredictable 2 year old (who at the moment is about 4 inches from my face saying "I wanta tell you a swee-cwit momma" haha).  For instance, I didn't plan to clean pen off the wall or change poopy panties, both seemed to make their way into our day today.  Unpredictable. Ergo, I enjoy cooking :)

Tonight is chicken with mushrooms...and no cream sauce (not a fan).  The original recipe here.

Chix Breast- thawed
1-2 eggs
bread crumbs
1 cup chix broth (I used veggie broth)

Mushrooms layered, chix browned

more mushrooms!

Cheese!!  What a sweet helper!

350 degrees for 25 mins
smell is AMAZING!
We paired ours with Basmati rice, carrots and sauteed zucchini.  :) YUM!
this is Stephen's plate....
I would love to hear what makes you feel "like an adult" :)