Where are my daises and roses??

Can I just be honest for a minute?  Well, more like transparent, because I am always honest...

First, in case you missed it, let me just catch you up...The end of April, Stephen (my handsome husband), left his job, we started clearing out our house to head to the mission field. With the help of parents and a few GREAT friends we had a moving sale, gave away some stuff, sold a few more things and gave away the rest.  So our house was completely cleared out at 1:30 am Wednesday, before we left our life behind at 10 am the next morning. May 21, 2015. I cried. A lot.  Probably because I was so tired, maybe because I was thankful for my friend, Sara, sticking with us the entire night, probably because I couldn't believe it was actually here, maybe a little fear that it was actually here. 

Our special day at Disney! Thanks Shirley & Pete!!

 Everything was great staying with family up until May 28th, when we left Orlando, FL headed to Ft. Lauderdale Airport to MOVE to Colombia...SOUTH AMERICA.  Still couldn't believe God chose us for this journey. So surreal.

We pulled up to the airport an hour behind schedule, already having argued with Budget Rental car for an hour rate instead of the $120/day rate they were planning on charging for being ONE hour late!!  Did I mention we had 2 rental cars overdue and no time to stop for gas- which if you have been to FLL, you know there is no place close to stop.   We pull up and start unloading our 2 overweight bags, 3 suitcases and 2 extra sterilite totes. Yes, it was ridiculous. Yes, people were staring. Yes, my 2 year old had an anxiety attack and pooped all over his clothes and car seat (we ended up throwing that out, I mean I couldn't be THAT lady that checked a poop seat, even though it was too expensive to leave behind...).  We finally got our bags weighed (25 mins) only to realize since we didn't have a return flight we had to be "handled" inside.  We try to go inside but the bags are too heavy.  Stephen helps the man, meanwhile, I take screaming Graycen, along with Katie (our adult helper), and the others inside to start the process.  The ticket lady asked me about return flight, so excited I said "We don't have one! We are moving there!"  She then informed me that without a VISA the immigrant agents on the other side could refuse entry to Colombia. Wait, what? (Of course I would forget something).  We finished the checked bags and decided it would be best for Katie to stay inside the airport with the kids while Stephen and I get the rest of the carry ons/personal items (including pack n play, diaper bag, kids book bags, our book bags, my purse, a duffle bag, our 5 carry on suitcases and a breast pump). Oh the looks we got.  We were "those people", the ones everyone was thinking "I hope they are not on my flight!"  (SN: the kids did GREAT on the flight, unlike some other kids...)

After building a carry-on wall around Katie and the kids (Graycen still crying), we set off to return the rental cars and be thankful we are all here and alive, not focusing on the extra $ it was costing (close to $400).  I had the Budget rental van, Stephen had the Sixt Camry.  Contrary to website and receipt, Sixt rental is NOT at FLL, but 3 minutes away.  We did not have 3 minutes.  Stephen called and told them our frustration and that he would leave the rental car, and they would need to come get it at the airport- we were getting close to missing our flight.  He was still arguing with them when he dropped me, passports and tickets in tow to get the kids and Katie through security while he figures out that mess.  I was wearing Westen, pushing our massive cart of carry on luggage, we finally got Graycen calm enough to be in the double stroller with Brynnen, Katie pushing them with a few things under the stroller.  I am actually smiling (again) bc we got this. We would be ok.  Until the man at the entrance of the security check point says "Those bags have to be down"- completely dumbfounded I asked him to repeat what he said. "The cart can't go back there, through security, you need to leave it here."  I started hyperventilating, half talking half gasping "What? Wait. I can't. I literally cannot get myself, 3 kids, all of these items through security, even with Katie." Oh, he had no clue the can of worms he just opened.  I continued crying, trying not to lose complete control and scare the kids, "I have no clue where my husband is, he is returning a rental car that we don't know where it goes, I have no idea if he is going to even make it to our INTERNATIONAL flight, I don't even know if we can make it."  Tears. Lots of them.  I knew he had no clue what to do, neither did I.  So he called for help.  The people that came brought wheelchairs, loaded our stuff, hugged me tight and said "This is not something to cry about, we are here, we will help you the whole way.  There are other things to cry about, not this. We got you."  It was too late, I couldn't stop crying.  I then turn and  see Stephen walk in the door.  (insert Hallelujah chorus).  He makes everything better.

So the ensemble continued.  They took us right to the front, got all of our stuff and us through security and to our gate with about 20 minutes to spare. They were AWESOME.  I really wanted to take a super cute "here we go" photo, but my emotions were to shot to try and pretend this was all I thought it would be.  I mean, we were choosing obedience, right- I was looking for my daisies and roses...not this thorn bush we were just shoved through.

Here is just a glimpse of the next few days...
 1. Graycen had another "bout" on the plane.  Got poop on the seat, his blanket and clothes.  Ever try consoling a tired, red-bottom toddler while cleaning him and his clothes at 25000 ft, in the 2 cubic feet of space they call "bathroom"? I didn't have any other clothes bc they let us check his bag at the gate (THANK YOU JET BLUE!!!). So I shoved him in Westen's shorts and covered him with a blankie. Priase God for Coconut oil on his bottom.
2. Same toddler, fever on the plane. Taught Katie how to "pat" a 4 month old to sleep.
3. Realized in flight we left the kids carry ons in the trunk of the rental car, along with Westen's Boppy. My clothes were also in their bags, (we condensed to only use one suitcase in Orlando).
4. Realizing in flight we left Stephens supply of contacts and only pair of glasses in the hotel, he is blind without them.
5. Still had no clue about the visa, they didn't have to let us in. Our friend Nicole told me what to say *PRAYING* the immigrant worker would be compassionate. (To ask for a 90 day tourist visa- super uncommon, normally it's 30, sometimes 60.  He was so nice!! We got the full 90 days!!)
  *Graycen was WAY too excited about not being buckled...going down the side of a curvy mountain*
6. The pool house where we were staying had a leak in the roof! 
7. It was cold. I only packed 1 or 2 cooler outfits.  Also, see number 3.


Scorpion, anyone?

8. Up all night with chills and shakes, temp reading 104.1. (Took about 24 hours to feel ok). Moved to dry room upstairs, mats on the floor (better than just the floor!)
9. Brynnen got a UTI (first ever) had to go to the ER (no insurance yet, praise God it is cheaper here!). 
10. Westen started waking up 2 times a night, and not wanting to sleep (low milk supply)- He had to sleep in Katie's room bc we couldn't fit all 5 in this room.
11. We saw our first ever scorpion, in the middle of the night (outside, see #10).
12. Killed first scorpion ever!
13. Met our friends the Montgomery's, they let us borrow their air mattress, and showed us the area...things started looking up.
14.  Living in someone's house, without the ability to speak their language to know the "rules".
15. More bumps, bruises, nicks, scratches, and bug bites than I thought were humanly possible.
 16. Getting into taxi's without an interpreter, praying we made it to our destination, and not some back alley.

During this time I cried, a lot. I wanted to go "home". A lot.  I had to remind Brynnen we weren't going "home", this was our home, and then secretly telling Stephen I want to go home.  Just when I would cry out, reminding God that HE sent us here, and I can't do this. (Where are those darn daises??)  He would grant me peace.  Not a change in physical circumstance, but in my heart.  A calm that can only be explained, "Jesus".  I still cry occasionally, and sometimes, like when I order aqua con glass and it comes out "Aqua con gas" (GROSS), or our taxi driver is lost and we have no clue how to fix it or tell him where we need to be, I want to go back to familiar. I want "normal". 



The dish we made. It was GOOD!

Then, with out fail, something amazing happens- an extra ray of sunshine.  I hear a praise song I recognize and singing along side brothers and sisters to the same God makes tears of joy well up in my eyes, or our taxi driver turns on American (pop) music, it makes me smile bc he is trying to make us feel at ease.  I love a long sip of coffee con leche while chatting with new friends.  I love hearing Brynnen speak the few Spanish words she knows and constantly asking me for more.  I love how the lady here (Lillyanna) wants to teach me to cook, and hugs my children every morning.  I love how we can wake up ready for the day regardless of how hard and sleepless the night was.  Most of all- I love sitting in "church", looking out over the city hearing God say "This city is mine.  Not the religion practiced here. Not the rituals and idol worship smothering the people. They need ME."  Yes, Lord.


This city has quickly captured my heart, and all the hard times are refining my faith, stretching me beyond what I ever thought possible and then stretching just a little bit more, breaking my will and exposing my selfishness.  Also, reminding me the God is not going to leave us down and bitter, broken or in despair.  We have prayed many times for him to take this burden, to give us his "yolk" because it is light...and HE DOES! Not all the time or right when we want it- but I am living proof, HIS WORD IS TRUE!!

Don't read this and feel sorry for us.  That was not at all my intention.  I wanted this blog to be bright and cheery and everything daisies and roses--but it's not....that isn't life.  Yes there are beautiful moments, A LOT of them, but those are weaved in the imperfections, the unexpected, the disappointments, the hard times, the exhaustion and you should be a part of those too.  We are walking this road together. I cannot wait to share what God does, here in South America...starting with me.  Please continue to pray for us, we feel it, know that God is working.  THANK YOU!

www.oneministryfoundation.com

Part 2.

So. Here I am, drinking my amazing Colombian coffee (come over sometime, we can share!). Staring at the screen.  A heart full and overwhelmed, yet no motivation for this post.  I guess like Mary, in the bible, I have been "pondering these things in my heart"-(uh, no I am not insinuating I am close to holy or consider myself like Mary...except for pondering). I want to shout and sing how excited we  are, to share with all of you the amazing beauty that is Medellin, Colombia, and take you there with us!  On the other hand, I don't want to bore you with miniscule details (although to us they are not miniscule).  SO.  Here I am, drinking my coffee-(seriously, come share with me). 

That is one part of Medellin.  I have been a few places in this world, and have never seen a more beautiful city.  So many elements I love all rolled into one; mountains, city, landscape, lots of people, fresh air, authenticity.  Thank you Lord for sending us here! 

There are several stories that gave us a general confirmation of our calling (miniscule details, in a later post, maybe), but the actual confirmation came after meeting the staff, seeing the organization and mostly....meeting the boys on the farm. 

Loved them and prayed over them before we knew them- meeting was just a formality ;)  We only knew a little Spanish, but it didn't matter.  We had  SO much fun with them.  Kids don't always need words, they need love and attention.  If my own two kids weren't in 'The States I don't know if I would have come back. HA! (but seriously). 

We saw all aspects of Open Arms, Medellin and Mr. Bill (founder) shared his vision with us.  Our faith has given him faith.  Didn't see that coming-- he has been in "the field" for over 20 years, has seen God do AMAZING things in Colombia, and yet, a young couple that knows nothing except God wants them here, working with him, has given him faith.  Pretty cool.  God's plan, not ours!  He knows what you need and when.  He knows what we need, and when.

What is next.  Fundraising, moving, learning Spanish, sharing Jesus along the way.  We know from my previous post (and Romans 12:5-8) that we are all part of one body, but we DO NOT have the same function.  We work together, each with our own task to be the complete the body of Christ- doing HIS work.  For us, our specific job is to go.  And we need YOU to work with us, to continue praying for God's good hand, but also to financially send us out.  We are completely depending on the generosity of others for this mission work. Knowing God will provide completely- if He calls, he will provide. 

I was texting with a sweet friend this evening about coffee (shock), we were admiring how God didn't place coffee trees in only one area of the world.  They grow in several different regions, and how different soil, temperature, fertilization, harvest, roasting process, etc can affect the taste...all of that goes into one tiny bean that produces a very similar outcome regardless of where it is grown (dark, delicious, easy to share no matter how you prefer to drink it...or NOT drink it, Stephen).   Think of how much God puts into you.  We are from different regions, environments, families, income levels, and I think we all have different harvest & roasting processes...all of that makes us unique.  All unique, but not alone.  Just like coffee beans work better when there is more than one (even if it is chocolate coated, more is better!), the body of Christ is BOLD, and full of FLAVOR when we work together. 

Ok, can't say I have ever been compared to a coffee bean...but I love coffee, so I don't mind at all.  Do you?? :)

We are still putting together our budget and needs- this is God's time line, but we are hoping for this fall, 2014.  When we have all our funds, we will GO!  SIDENOTE: Stephen has knee surgery, finally, at the end of the month- so we need to get him healed and rehabbed before we go. 

Give us one week and we will have an opportunity for you to give, to support us financially if God leads.  We are SO excited you are on this journey with us, to make HIM famous. 

MEDELLIN IS READY....the harvest is ripe, but the workers are few.  God could be sending YOU, too.  :-)   :-) 

Here goes...

"..so in Christ we who are many form one body, and each member belongs to all the others.  We have different gifts according to the grace given us.  If a man's gift is prophesying, let him use it in proportion to his faith.  If it is serving, let him serve, if it is teaching, let him teach; if it is encouraging, let him encourage; if it is contributing to the needs of others, let him give generously;  if it is leadership, let him govern diligently; if it is showing mercy, let him do it cheerfully."

Romans 12:5-8

Here goes....Stephen and I have been called into the International Mission Field.  Not really sure why I capitalized those letters, maybe to seem more official??  Either way, we are called, and we are going! 

We are leaving a week from today (Wednesday March 5) to check out an organization (Open Arms Foundation) down in Medellin (pronounced Med-E-yin), Colombia.  Yes, Colombia, South America.  That was my first thought too.  "God, you want us to go where??  Ha, you are funny.  I think you forgot we have children to keep safe and family here, in our cozy Knoxville, TN.  We don't mind being out of our comfort zone, God, but Colombia is beyond comfort comprehension.  It's off the charts!  Try again."  Isn't funny how we think we know what's best for us and where we should go and what we should do?  More concerned with us then with people that need the love of Christ.

Well, it only took a couple days (probably less than that), for my heart to be at peace.  To know, where ever HE leads, HE will be there too.  Sure, there were times when I let my imagination run wild with all the bad things that could happen-- I mean this is third world, drug capital of the world (my own deduction), prostitution is legal and 12 children are kidnapped every week.  This can't be right.  He wouldn't call us to a place we could die, or lose our children, right?  Whenever I do indulge in these worthless thoughts, without fail hear a gentle reminder "They need Jesus, too." 

Now, I am so excited to be on this journey with Stephen, our kids and the one who goes before us (God).  He is our guide, our protector, our provider.  I have experienced this (his guidance, protection and provision) SO SO many times in my life, our life, and it NEVER, NEVER gets old.  It still amazes me that God loves us so much, he is involved in the big and small things, sometimes little tokens or notes that no one else ever sees, but it is a reminder, He is here, always.  He overwhelms my heart.  I'm also excited YOU get to be a part of this, too!


Open Arms Foundation (OAF), has a home for girls, most have been rescued from sexual exploitation or slavery.  Some have children and some do not.  They get counseling and help learning to be mothers, and members of a community, all while being ministered and shown the love of Jesus.

They also have a Farm for boys, ages 2 - 18, most of these boys are/were street kids (no home, just living on the street) or have been abandoned.  They go to school and are taught to work, along with counseling.  After their 18th birthday (if they stay that long) they move to another house to integrate them permanently into society, to get jobs and become productive citizens.  Also, the love of Jesus is shared through out the entire process.

What these kids need most (besides Jesus) are examples of godly men and women, ANNDD family life.  Most of them have never seen functional families (mom and dads who love each other, love the children and even love them too) .  That's where we are hoping to come in.  Providing a picture of Christ's love, displayed through family life.  We have never met any of these boys, yet our hearts are full of love for them.  I know it will not be easy, they probably have a lot of trust issues (among other issues).  We need for YOU to pray for us, as much as possible. 

Our pastor talks about areas in your life/ministry that are so vulnerable and dependent on God, that if he removes his hand, the whole thing will fail.  For us, that is now.  If God is not with us, if he does not go before us, I do not want to be there.  We will fail without him.  We need you as well.  So, please join us in prayer- for physical protection, continued peace, mental clarity, and victory over spiritual battles- that we will daily put on the full armor of God (Ephesians 6), that we will find rest in Him.  Let us know if you will join us in praying, we would love to thank you, and keep you updated!!

You can check them out on facebook: OAF  for more info!!  :) 

I have asked the foundation for a list of needs for each of the homes,a small token of love we can give to them.  Here is a list-- if you have anything you can send with us I know it will be a blessing.  This list is NOT exhaustive, if you have anything else you would like to include, we will graciously take it to them!  :-)  The number of kids change often- some are added, or run away, etc.  ANNND The Colombian people are a lot smaller than Americans (yes, we know we are already taller than average Americans, so this is going to be pretty interesting).  :-)



GIRLS HOME- 13 Girls, 8 Babies. 

Clothing for babies from 0 to 18 months
Towels for babies

Blankets for babies

Shoes for pregnant girls that are comfortable (Sizes 35 a 38)  - Size 4 to 7.5 US

Maternity pants and jeans (size 4 a 10)

Maternity shirts (Size Small)

Anti-diaper rash cream

Vitamins for pregnant girls (Iron sulfate, calcium, folic acid)

 BOYS FARM- 10 Boys (ages 8-16)

Socks

Flip-flop style shoes

Pants (size 26 a 30) - Size 5/XS to 12/Large in boys

Shirts - 5/XS to 12/Large in boys

SO excited to see God move, using each of you on this journey with us.  Thankful for your open hearts and willing hands. 

 

"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit." 

 Romans 15:13

Teachable Moments

For a long time (probably about 3 years) I wanted to "have a job"--let me rephrase that.  I wanted to get a pay check.  Just an FYI for anyone who isn't a Stay-At-Home-Mom (SAHM), or is delusional about what really happens in a day in the life of a SAHM.  We work. Hard.  It's messy, and emotional and no set guidelines on how to do the job well.  Stephen (my sweet husband) and I had this conversation the other day (a few weeks ago), "No one in their right mind would continuously do a job over and over just to see your hard work be messed up again & again, and work with people who continuously do not listen, and often do opposite of what you ask them- [we call those "teachable moments"-- although, I'm pretty sure I get more out of these "moments" anyway].  Do all of it with no days off- often working night and weekends- no vacation time, no sick days, no paid overtime, no lunch breaks- nap time and bed time are the only rest periods, and those are optional.  Who would submit themselves to that kind of abuse stress, for no immediate return on investment???  Some people may not always like their job, but at least can relax on their days off, with that nice wad of cash just deposited.  Ugh.   I just want to go work for someone, and get a pay check, and a lunch break and adult conversation and be able to leave work at work...and not clean my kitchen 3 times a day.  Jealous of moms/people that had "a real job" - not everyday, just on the "hard" days.  

And then one day I got sick.  Really sick, for the first time ever.  I had the flu (the real flu, influenza B, not the "flu" people get every winter with their runny nose and coughing- I'm talking ER, thought I would die, cannot move flu), I also was dehydrated and had strep throat.  Sick.  3 days later, I got a 24hr stomach bug.  Worst. Days. Ever.  About the 5th day into it I was laying on the couch (as if I could go anywhere else) watching cartoons with Brynnen while Graycen napped.  It wasn't a big revelation, or flashing sign, it was at one of my lowest, weakest moments God opened my eyes.  I am so grateful I can lay here on this couch, with this little girl, wearing sweatpants, looking all kine-a crazy.  No where to go, no using "time off," no missing out on pay, or having to work late to catch up (well, besides that darn cleaning- but that will always be there).  Over the next few days God really opened my heart and eyes to what a blessing it is to stay at home with these kids.  Sitting in Graycen's room letting him crawl all over me, coloring with Brynnen, cuddling with both of them, wow, this is amazing.  I get to do this every day- uh, yes some days I wish I didn't have to get up and be "mom"- but those are days that God teaches me the most.  About me, about Him and about our purpose here on earth (for HIS glory, not mine).  I am not at all a perfect mom, most days I strive to be a "good" mom.  Honestly, Brynnen is crazy, and loud, and doesn't always listen, and has an attitude like her mommy, and a hard head like her daddy-- and I want to pull my hair out (or put her in her room and go hide under the covers until Stephen comes home), and then the most amazing thing happens.  She will say something so simple and sweet, "Mommy, I love you" "Mommy, I'm sorry I had a bad attitude" that will remind me why I love her so much, and that she is 3.  She has only been on this earth 3 years and 11 months.  I don't even have this figured out and I have been here 30 years 8 months.   Teachable moments, huh?  Graycen is still my perfect child :) for now...
 
I have learned the "hard" days are usually when I have an agenda.  I want to get this clean, or that organized, or if I can just finish this, or catch up on that real quick.  Most of those things have absolutely no eternal value, and will be there later, and get dirty again, and again.  I want clean house (one: I like it clean, two: germs), mainly because SAHM's are suppose to have clean houses, perfect homes- I mean honestly, what do we do all day-- besides bon bons and soap operas...those are a given.  Some where, I picked up the notion that if my house is dirty then what is my value?  If my home is a mess, I failed.  I took pride in making sure my house was spotless when guests came over.  I was under the impression that if my house wasn't clean I could not have people over, I mean- how can you minister if your house is a mess.  UM, HELLO-- we are all a bunch of HOT messes that need to see not everything is perfect all the time.  We need each other, we need kind words and hugs, encouragement and JESUS, not an "on display" type house that does not show hospitality.  This is not saying SAHM's that have perfect houses are not hospitable-I know several that do, and they are super sweet & I love them dearly--(send me some tips girls)!  I'm simply saying "Whatever you do, work at it with your whole heart, as working for the Lord, not for men..." Colossians 3:23-- So, if you clean your house, do it for the Lord (and be grateful for what you have), but if cleaning your house gets in the way of serving the Lord (raising kids or loving on others), you may need to rethink priorities.  I did and it feels great--most days I still have my inner clean freak screaming about how awful it is, and laundry that will never get folded-- I just remind myself, I'm here for Jesus- not laundry. 



SN:  This is not to be used as an excuse to completely let your housework go, I believe we should work hard with our hands, and not be lazy--but if (like me) your house becomes an idol (noun. something adored, often blindly or excessively, something seen but without substance) remind yourself- people are important, not things.  :-)

There's no stopping it...

Well here it is. The day I've pretended wasn't coming. The day I scoffed at, promising I would avoid. And yet, in about 4 hours I'll be head to head with it....my 30th birthday.  That's right, I'm getting old.  In years past I dreaded 30, thinking my good life, my dreams...and everything else would be gone, head south and not come back.  That was before I turned 29.  Once you get to the 1 year count down it gets real, BUT you have 364 days to figure it out.  That's where I am now, day 364, and surprisingly...it's not that bad.

Well, it wasn't that bad until I just looked down realized I went the whole day with a huge spit up ring on my dress- right below the collar bone.  Awesome.  Not sure what is worse, the fact I didn't notice it at any point when I washed my hands/looked in the mirror--or that I never smelled that distinct musty-spit up smell.  My oh my it's glamorous being a mom...I wouldn't trade it though, even on the hard days--they soon pass, and all the "bad stuff" is forgotten...I'm sure you have a story you could share on forgetting difficult times too :)

Back to getting old, had you asked me 5 years ago on my birthday where I would be in 5 years-- it surely would not look anything like it does now.  (Thank you Jesus I did not write my own story).  Back then, in 2008, I was planning to move to Washington DC, doing marketing/event planning "stuff", making lots of money, having fun- YOLO!!! (for all of you oldies like me, that means "you only live once"- great theology huh??)  PRAISE GOD that didn't pan out.  Believe me, some days I wonder what I would be like, where I would be if that were my path, then I shudder.  No thank you, I know how different it would be. I would not have cultivated relationships with friends & family like I have/do now.  I wouldn't have the most handsome, sweet, perfect-for-me husband that I do, or my 2 crazies (Brynnen & Graycen)!!  Most importantly, I am pretty positive I would not have a deep, growing relationship with Christ my Savior.  I wouldn't know the joy of community in the church and I certainly would not know what is truly important in life-- raising my sweet babies and growing old with my hubby-- all while trying to imitate Christ...in which we can't compare, and often fail- but are so grateful for the grace, mercy, compassion, love and patience our heavenly father has with/for us.

Wow, am I ever more aware how I was rescued from that to be transplanted in the south, as a loving wife and mother to the most precious beings on earth..even if it is chaotic & and I smell like spit up for a few months...

HERE'S TO BEING THIRTY!!  I am excited for the adventure it may bring!!

Our little family!

my MAIN squeeze!! 1 week before 30!

my heart...cuddling this morning :-)

crazies on mother's day!

   

Drumroll please....DIEGO!!

A lot of you have probably heard us or Brynnen talk about our "boy" or Diego- well it's time to get rid of the confusion.  Diego is not the name of the boy in my "belly" and is not Brynnen's favorite Nickelodeon character.  "Our" Diego also speaks Spanish (well, his nannies do), has dark hair and olive skin just like the cartoon, however, he is a two year old little boy from Guatemala.  Who has a piece of our hearts, all three of us.
  
Stephen had the privileged of meeting this sweet baby our second day in Guatemala.  We were touring Hope of Life  and had stopped at the Baby Rescue Center. Stephen headed to the toddler room, while I was infatuated with this sweet baby girl who was alone.  So sweet seeing giggles, smiles and just loving on her/them! Here are a few of the other babies

She has a cleft-palate, waiting for a sponsor for the surgery

Henry, a 3 y/o weighs (i think) 11 lbs.

Could not wait to get back to them!!

We were moving on to the next part of the tour (walking), I was jabbering on about how I wanted all of those babies and what a blessing this place was! Stephen was quiet, not sharing his joy...knowing something was wrong, I said "Honey, are you ok?"  He waited a few seconds...his voice cracked as he softly uttered "They put him in a trash can." My eyes filled and I started crying, not because I had a clue what he was talking about-but anything that moves my husband to tears is worth mine too.  A little louder he said "a trash can....a trash can!  Who does that?"  I could tell by his tone he was appalled, broken-hearted and angry...mostly angry.  He told me about Diego.  Someone heard whimpering coming from a dumpster, after checking it out the discovered it was coming from a baby boy, not a wounded animal.  He was brought to the Rescue Center, was nursed to health, now has a bed to sleep in and nurses who love him.  Praise God!!!

Here he is...

Sweet Diego!

Having a daughter around the same age, this hit our hearts hard.  I don't care the circumstance, Brynnen would not be left in a dumpster like unwanted, discarded trash; all alone, probably cold and afraid.  So many other options.  Cannot fathom.

We got to see and play with Diego several more times on our trip.  One of our last days, Stephen had him (of course), Diego wanted to play with a fly swatter.  No big deal, there were not a lot of toys, so Stephen gave it to him and put him down to play.  One of the nurses came over and took the fly swatter from Diego and put it back (not at all rude or disrespectful).  Diego looked at her, his face sank and he dropped to his knees in a pity party.  His world was crushed, his toy taken- so dramatic.  I started laughing.  I had watched this scene play out before.  Except instead of being in an orphanage in Guatemala, it was in my kitchen in Knoxville, it was at grandparents house, it was at the park or any other place my sweet little girl decides to have the same response. Haha, I always laugh at her dramatic style too :-)

That exact moment I realized this boy belongs at the Sene house, he fits perfectly.  Stephen felt the same.

Right now Guatemala is a closed country for adoption.  Basically Americans cannot adopt children from there (or any closed country).  It's a long story- but it involves the lawyers and doctors (among others) in Guatemala- kidnapping, lying, and forcing women to get pregnant to sell their babies to unknowing Americans.  Bad stuff.  So while they sort out all of that mess, and set up proper adoption channels, we will wait...and pray...and look at our few precious pictures.
  

We have no idea if God will bring Diego to our home, His will not ours.  (Lord Willing) We are going to adopt from Guatemala when it opens even if we can't get Diego.  Pray for us, for him and most importantly for the 147 million children who are without a "forever family" - also pray for the people (maybe YOU) who could be forever changed by the life of a child, through adoption.


I have one more post about adoption...coming soon!!  :-)

Guatemala stole my heart!

I keep promising to do better about posting, and here it's been 4 months and 13 days since my last post. It seems like much longer, so much has happened.  I would say the biggest change in our life has been since we returned from Guatemala.

Stephen and I were blessed to join a group from our church on a first time mission to Hope of Life International (Clike here for info) in Zacapa, Guatemala.  We had never been to a third-world country.  What a life changing experience.  You cannot understand "needy" or "poor" until you visit outside the United States- the "poor" here do not even compare.  Mainly because of opportunity.  In America millions of people rely on the government to feed them, clothe them, pay for bills, even for job opportunities.  The people of Guatemala do not have that luxury.  I've heard/seen people say/post "They should take care of themselves," I would guarantee anyone with that attitude has not witnessed poverty on this level.

One day we got to do a TOMS shoes delivery (this does not change my views of TOMS shoes, you can read here my thoughts).  We pulled up to the village of La Laguna (no running water or indoor plumbing), you would have thought we were celebrities the way the street was filled and cheers erupted when we opened the windows to wave hello.  My eyes immediately filled with tears.  These people are so excited for a pair of shoes.  Plain black, mediocre quality shoes.  A pair most kids (and some adults) would scoff at- or possibly wear because of the blue/white label on the back.

 

Men who serve those that can do nothing in return are REAL men! He's handsome too huh? ;)

This is a day I will cherish the rest of my life, I don't think any of us left unchanged.  We went back to La Laguna one more day, walked around the village, saw the school building (2 rooms, no electricity, no air conditioning or fans), heart breaking, but in a way so humbling and encouraging.  Here we are surrounded by some of the poorest people in the world, and yet they wore the biggest smiles.  When you looked in their eyes, especially the older women, you could see clear to their soul.  What reflected back was something so beautiful it brought tears to my eyes every time.  Still does.  I saw gratitude, humility, joy, a pure kind spirit, sincerity, and peace.  Add to that the weathered hands and face, and you can imagine the life she has lived. So beautiful.  I can only hope my eyes speak that much depth about me one day!

 

Sharing clean water!

 This is the current church, as you can see around 35 people is a packed house-

  

 Our church Chilhowee Hills Baptist, has partnered with World Help (Lynchburg, VA) and Hope of Life (Zacapa, Guatemala) to do a total village transformation.  The first and MOST IMPORTANT is to build a well, with clean water.  The water "system" was not put in correctly, the water is mixing with the sewage- making children and people sick :-(

 My buddy Alex, in front of the new well site, and where eventually(Lord willing) the new church will go. The well will cost over $15,000 PLEASE CONTACT ME if you are able to donate, completely tax-deductible!

Some of "our" people!

    

The next day we went to a feeding center at a trash dump.  These people lived in or right outside the dump, they worked there (picking out recyclables to sell).

These faces are etched in my mind, so beautiful- gracious-sincere.  These are the poor of the poor, and yet, like in James 2:5 they are "poor in the eyes of the world, to be rich in faith and inherit the kingdom..." 

The kids didn't even care- didn't "know better"- they played and laughed- I loved seeing them. Humbling.

Would you let your kids be here??

There was so much more to our trip, but it would take hours and hours to record, and most of the pictures are on facebook.   Please consider a mission to any third world country, God will provide funds and break your heart in the most glorious way possible.  You will see that even though you don't have everything you want...you are blessed with MORE than you need!   Your heart will be stolen, just as ours was!!!


PS- In my next blog I will introduce you to Diego!!  :-) 

We've been waiting.....

I have waited for this post.  I would be lying if I said I hadn't thought about the words I would use, how long it would be, would it include pictures?  When would I post it?  Apparently I didn't think too much, because I don't have much to say.  I mean I have A LOT to say, but my mind is blank.

Why aren't the words coming?  I guess because I want it to be perfect.  I mean, you only get to announce a baby once! (did you catch that??)  I have such a deep desire to express God's goodness, grace and mercy, to shout His providence, perfection and love for us.  If you could have seen me the day I found out....I couldn't stop grinning, eyes welling, heart soaring.  I really wanted to tell everyone- especially you all, since you are on this journey too.  I settled for some advice my dad gave me "be like Mary, and ponder it in your heart."

If you haven't concluded yet...I. AM. PREGNANT!!!!!  :)  Apparently a little over 6 weeks, although i think closer to 5--but like Stephen told me - it doesn't matter how far along, we're pregnant- that's the key point here!!

I know you are dying for details, so here you go

Tuesday afternoon (the 14th) I was cuddling Brynnen a little bit before nap.  Out of the blue she said "Mommy I want a brover or sister."  My first response was, "So do we honey" then I said "Let's ask God for a brother or sister."  So we did, love the sweet innocent prayers of children.  :)   God does too ;)

Wednesday, I had just settled in to start bible study (doing Beth Moore, Esther).  Then I remembered I had bought a test to take! Yay!  I took the test.  I stared at the test for about 15 seconds and knew I would go insane, and hurt my eyes if I watched the whole time.  So I decided to glance over the study (or at least sit down) and wait the appropriate 3 minutes.

Finally, as I approached the counter I could only see the guide mark...sigh (probably pretty deep)....but upon further inspection I saw a faint line.......What??? No way!! Oh my word! I wanted to do a happy dance, to jump up and down, SHOUT to our creator- but I had a sleeping baby, so I settled for a small eeekkk, a huge grin and overwhelming joy in my heart.  Not sure if I sat on the bed by choice, or couldn't make it to my desk- either way, I had a sweet conversation with God.  Thanking him over and over, praising Him, and seeking protection- trusting His will.  I could not stop that big cheesy grin, what a beautiful feeling.

Stephen got home and we celebrated.  Super excited for this new season in our life.  Next we had to decide if we would share the good news with everyone, or wait a while.  We came to rest on this: God's plan will play out regardless.  If we share this great news and something happens, it will be disappointing- UMM HELLO- if we don't share and something happens it will still be disappointing.  If we do share, we have the power of pray behind us, and I don't know about you, but, we'll take all the prayer you'll give!!! 

So thankful for another chapter, but like we all know...it's now 9 months of waiting. HA!  I'm going to savor this time, because (Lord willing) when #2 gets here, life will drastically change.  Thankful for your prayers, sweet scripture and thoughtful words.  And VERY thankful for family & friends to go through life with...ups and downs, sorrows and joy.

Might be our official diaper-getter  :)

(In case you missed this on facebook.....)  

Yes, she is chanting "USA" at the end...guess she feels we deserve a gold medal for this one   ;)

A good word...

This is directly from an e-mail devotional Pastor Jerry Hall sends me-  sometimes we as Christians don't want to be labeled "judgmental" or "self righteous" - so we ignore wrong doings.  If  we speak truth in love, we are following our godly calling.  Ephesians 4:15 

Here it is:

 

“‘If a person sins because he does not speak up when he hears a public charge to testify regarding something he has seen or learned about, he will be held responsible.’”  Leviticus 5:1

 Responsible people speak up when necessary. Sometimes, it is easier to remain silent, but God has not called us to a path of least resistance. We can stay silent but eventually it will come out. It may come out in angry passive-aggressive reactions related to our uncommunicated observations or it may express itself in built-up resentment or bitterness that eats away at our good nature and steals our joy. Suffering in silence is not God’s design. He wants us to speak up under the influence of His Spirit. Even if the words are hard and direct, God’s Spirit can deliver them in a loving manner.

When you speak up, it means you care. We love the person too much to allow them to hurt themselves and others with self-inflicted attitudes and inappropriate actions. This is especially hard for men. Pride and ego keep us from being vulnerable to rejection or relational controversy, but we owe it to God, to others, and ourselves to “speak the truth in love” (Ephesians 4:15). Love compels you to take a relational risk and say something. Be faithful to speak the words, and trust God with the results.
            
Furthermore, make sure to speak up and defend those who are defenseless. Rise to the defense of widows, orphans, and the poor who are crushed under the weight of the world’s injustice. You may not have to look very far. There may be family members who need your attention. Second, third, and fourth chances are called for to model Christ’s attitude of acceptance. Your reputation may become soiled because you choose to speak up on behalf of a seedy soul, but trust God. We can relate best to sinners because we suffer from the same temptations and sorrows. Christians are sinners saved by the grace of God, no one is beyond God’s reach.
           
Lastly, speak up for and serve the poor. The poor need a person they can trust. The poor need us to give them a voice against the greedy souls who seek to take advantage of them. They need financial training; they need medical supplies and education; they need nutrition; they need jobs; they need indoor plumbing; they need shoes on their feet and clothes on their backs. Mostly, they need a growing relationship with Jesus Christ. The poor are drawn to Jesus when they see God’s people stand up for them. They are attracted to those who care enough to sit in their homes and drink coffee, create jobs, and speak up on their behalf. It may be building Christian schools so that the poor can receive a quality education in a loving environment. It is time some of us break out of our bubble of affluence and expose ourselves to the sufferings of the poor.
           
You sin if you remain silent over those who are defenseless. The Bible says, “Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world” (James 1:27).

Taken from August 19th reading in the 365-day devotional book, “Seeking Daily the Heart of God”… http://bit.ly/bQHNIE

Maybe Next Time...

Here's another hard, emotional, from the heart post.

I feel I (we) have fully processed having a miscarriage (I mean come on it's been over 4 months- click here to catch up), however there are some days harder than others.  Don't think I sit around completely depressed, lingering in the past I don't.  It's actually opposite, I have learned a lot and enjoy what God has blessed us with.  Most days it doesn't even cross my mind, but sometimes it does and it creates so many questions.  Questions I may never have answers to.

The last week or so I haven't felt normal (last time that happened I had a kidney infection & found out I was preggers with Brynnen) needless to say Friday I took a pregnancy test.  Negative.  Ugh, I don't like that word.  Even reading that word makes me cringe.  Negative.  Such a cold reminder of No, Not You, Nothing in There.  Couldn't they change it to "Maybe Next Time," that might not sting as bad.  Why does it even sting? We have complete faith God will provide when HE is ready, or maybe when We are ready- I don't mean physical time frame, I mean HE knows us better than we know ourselves.  He knows what we don't.  Maybe something crazy is going to happen on our Guatemala trip and if we had a child(or I was pregnant) we wouldn't fully be used.  Maybe not.  Maybe later down the road I will look back and see the big picture and say "Ah-ha!"  Maybe not.  Maybe God is creating a desire so great that if I have a "hard" pregnancy it won't even matter.  Maybe not.  Maybe I'm only meant to physically have 1 child.  Maybe not, but maybe....

So Saturday (after the "maybe next time" Friday) Stephen and I were out running errands.  I can't even recall what we were talking about, but I spurted out "It's just so hard sometimes."  Confused he asked what I was talking about, I have a tendency to forget not everyone hears what's in my head....So I shared what I had never shared before. I tried so hard not to cry.  Even now I can't help it.  "The hardest part for me isn't physically losing the baby.  It's reading the test and only seeing 1 line where before I saw 2."  Seeing a negative where there once was a positive.  I was pregnant, now I'm not.  I had child #2 inside, now I don't.  Man, sometimes I look at those tests so hard, I have to just put it in the trash & walk away, "Maybe Next Time."

As soon as I told Stephen all that, God was SO compassionate and flooded my mind with so many things that are perfect in our life for only one child.  A few being: our house, our business, our travel schedule, our college ministry,  exercising, and especially my time.  Yes all of these things will easily adapt to more than one child (many moms do these and more with multiple kids), but all that to say...we are right where we need to be.  He (God) is working on my heart, developing perseverance.  "Perseverance that must finish it's work so I may be mature and complete, not lacking in anything", at least that's what James 1:3-4 tells me :) 

Continued prayer is appreciated.  I'm so glad I will have these to read, or share with others, in the future if I ever need to.  :)

 This song is perfect.  Kari Jobe "You are for Me"

Mushroom Chix

I told Stephen last night, I feel the most wife/mom/adult like when I cook.  I love using fresh ingredients and simple recipes.  I guess it's the only time I really "control" the day- if that makes sense.  Maybe not control, but predict- in general (and lots of practice) if I cook chicken it will come out how I want, variables are up to me- what else I include with the chicken, how I cook the chicken, side dishes and occasionally dessert- well those are at my disposal.  Everything else in the day is up for grabs...especially with a toddler.  A very active, unpredictable 2 year old (who at the moment is about 4 inches from my face saying "I wanta tell you a swee-cwit momma" haha).  For instance, I didn't plan to clean pen off the wall or change poopy panties, both seemed to make their way into our day today.  Unpredictable. Ergo, I enjoy cooking :)

Tonight is chicken with mushrooms...and no cream sauce (not a fan).  The original recipe here.

Mushrooms
Chix Breast- thawed
1-2 eggs
bread crumbs
1 cup chix broth (I used veggie broth)
cheese

Mushrooms layered, chix browned

more mushrooms!

Cheese!!  What a sweet helper!

350 degrees for 25 mins

smell is AMAZING!

We paired ours with Basmati rice, carrots and sauteed zucchini.  :) YUM!

this is Stephen's plate....

I would love to hear what makes you feel "like an adult" :)